Friday, November 10, 2006

Expanded "The Rape Eye"


Some peoples Rape Eye is less malevolent.
For instance one friend, (Who shall remain nameless) when he sees a particularly beautiful women, looks more like he is stunned, aghast, or even disgusted. Like he can't believe what he is seeing. His head cocks up, ( hey cut it out, that laughing) mouth drops open, he crinkles up the flesh on his nose, and peers through the bottom of his glasses. For all intents and purposes looks like he is examining a grotesque bug. This is followed by a slight head bob down and head bob up every few seconds as if someone were lightly cracking him on the head with a rubber mallet. Then after he has soaked up all of the lovely lady's information, he goes straight into a full blown Tex Avery wolf take.

6 comments:

Kali Fontecchio said...

It doesn't so bad with that version. In fact, it's intriguing. Yes.

Jorge Garrido said...

I tried to avoid the rape eye today when this hot chick at work leaned over to pick up some sin sticks and I don't think it worked. I'll TRY to get caught smiling and looking.

ryan said...

hahahahah thats hilarious

MickFred said...

dropping the pants also makes a highly effective distraction from the rape eye. In fact you can pretty much make a lot of different expressions when the object of your affection drops her gaze to your 'mans area'. Then, as her eyes travel back up to your face you simply adopt the smile you aluded to in the other post. watch as her grimmace melts to warm security as she realises you are in fact a nice fellow.

mike f. said...

Yay! Vincent has a blog! HOO HAH! Hyuck! hyuck! [Happy dance!!!!!!!!!!!]
... okay, that's enough.

This rape eye post reminds me of how many of my friends pronounce the word "ogle" (v. to stare at impertinently or flirtatiously) completely different. It's always been a bone of contention.

Eddie, aka "Uncle Eddie" (sometimes known as "Uncle Malaprop") says "oogle", rhyming it with "Google".

John K. says something like "oggle" [rhymes with "boggle"] and I would say "oh-gle" [with a long "O", to rhyme with "mogul"]

I remember everyone in New York, never exactly on the cutting edge of English pronunciation, saying something like "aww-gle", or even "orgle".

Vincent and Jim Smith, who both have natural, down-home Texas accents, would probably say "OH-gle", with a heavy emphasis on the first syllable - because they both say "PO-leece" and "VEE-hickle".

(Full disclosure: Vincent is quick to point out my Brooklynese pronunciations of "idear" and "brudder", which sound borderline retarded - except when you're actually IN Brooklyn, where they sound like Ronald Colman! In my old neighborhood, the correct pronunciations of "idea" and "brother" sound almost quaint - gay, even - and will get you beat up in some quarters.)

I predict that "ogle" is destined to join "pajamas" and "orange" as one of the most mangled, subjectively-pronounced words in English.

Vincent Waller said...

Hi Mike,
Thanks for popping in and being so supportive.
Most Texans pronounce it Awe-gle.
As in "Awe, L L L Look at her!
The North Easterner's pronunciation of "Drawer" as in a kitchen drawer is another one that has always given me pause.
The dropping of the "er" and only saying "Draw". "Check in the Bottom draw." Equally as odd is the Texas version of drawer were it's pronounced "Droar" sounding more like roar.
It's all the non-existant beings fault.
Just check Genesis chapter 11,"The Non-existant stopped their efforts by confusing languages so that the builders could not understand one another."