Thursday, October 23, 2008

Frank's Coffee Shop

Back in 1987 Bob Camp,his then Girlfriend Karen Kuehn, his dog Stiffy and myself rolled into town. After a night at the world famous Safari Inn we breakfasted at Franks. It was the first and last time we ate at Frank's for twenty years.

Why so long, you ask? Well I noticed as we sat down that there were a large number gnats flying about the place. No big deal really. Growing up in Texas prepares you to share your space with mother natures ugly little creatures.

But then our beautiful little waitress waddled out to our table with my plate of eggs.
The cloud of gnats that followed her, swarming around said eggs couldn't be ignored.
She set my plate down and I was surprised that 300 or so gnats that were stuck to my eggs didn't have the strength to fly away with my breakfast.
I didn't have the strength to eat them, or to return for twenty years.

I am pleased to announce that Frank's has a new owner, that has evicted the gnats, and expanded the menu to suit those with more continental tastes.
The wait staff are considerably younger too.


Anonymous said...

Familiar yet different: once, I and a lady friend (me with HUMAN women? How do this be!) were at a Denny's here in San Antonio.

Waitress comes over with our food. She's pretty ugly, but most people of my city (and culture in general) don't age well, so that can be excused. She serves us, and I take a huge drink of my sugarred sweetened coffee.

As the mug comes out of my lips, a long curly black hair emits from my mouth.

Needless to say, after a few minutes of violently vomiting in a toddler's food, me and my friend leave the place and vow never to return as long as we live.

True story.

Anonymous said...

Well, mostly true.

Instead of vomitting in a child's food, I ran into the bathroom. After vomitting there, I came back and sat down quietly.

After that, the lady comes with our check. She comes up to me, says "Hee ya go, handsome", and her viscous shit breath wafts into my nasal area.

THEN I vomitted in a child's food.

kris.w said...


i LOVE this post. i actually ate at Frank's a few times during my time at Nick. i think it was just around transition time because i noticed a difference between the first and last time i ate there.

food was a bit bland for me. coulda used some gnats.

oh, and awesome drawing by the way. if i owned that place you better believe it'd be hanging up by the register!

Kali Fontecchio said...

I think while driving past that place I said to John, "how come we haven't eaten there?"

I don't think he could remember why he didn't like it, but he knew he didn't like it.